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~ episode SUMMARY ~

No one plans on having a midlife crisis, so why is it so common? And what about the “quarter life crisis” that people seem to be having more and more in their 20s and 30s?

The meaning of life is a timeless and huge topic, but in this episode I delve into it anyway, with my perspective and my theory on how to find it.

Finding life meaning AND avoiding midlife crisis both depend on our ability to pivot our lives. Which is what Radical Redirection is all about.

Plus: what are the big red flags that tell us that it’s time to pivot? How do you know when you’re overdue for a big change?

P. S. You already have everything you need inside you. Like a seed full of genetic information that, given the right conditions, will sprout, grow, and bloom into the flower it’s meant to be.

The trick is to give it the right conditions - stay tuned to find out what those are!

~ episode transcript ~

Hello, welcome to episode 3 of Radical Redirection! Today’s episode is all about finding meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and happiness. We’ll talk about some really exciting and positive things, but not before talking about some really undesirable things, such as, what’s in the title: the midlife crisis. And I promise, it will all make sense in the end!

You know.. no one PLANS on having a midlife crisis. No one wants it! It doesn’t sound fun. And yet it’s such a common term, such a widespread phenomenon: you always hear about midlife crisis. You start hearing about it when you’re still in high school: of various people having a midlife crisis. Sounds scary. I don’t want it.

Then, in college or slightly after, a new term gets introduced: the quarter-life crisis. My friends and I began joking about a “quarter life crisis” in our early 20s. But behind the jokes was a real, growing concern. You know, we’ve picked our majors at 17 or 18, chosen our colleges, spent 4-6 years (or even more) going in a specific direction (hoping that it’s the “right” one), busted our butts to get jobs in our fields, and are now paying off the massive loans from this entire experience. We’ve “bet it all on red” and crossed our fingers that it’ll work out.

But now we’re nervous. What if we bet wrong? My friends and I, in our early 20s, we’re working hard, doing our best, we’re tired a lot, trying to prove ourselves at work and trying to pay off our student loans… We’re all joking about a quarter life crisis, laughing, but inside we’re thinking: “but what if… this ISN’T it?”

This question inevitably comes up, sooner or later.

Many people try to avoid that question, try to distract themselves from it. It’s easy to have busy days, work-filled weekdays and fun-filled weekends, and just do that for years. And be relatively happy! And be well off. Especially if your job pays decently well. It’s easy to forget all about the nagging question of: “is this… it?”

Take a moment to reflect right now. When was the last time you’ve pondered the meaning of life? The meaning of life in general, and the meaning, or purpose, of your own life?

We tend to think about it a lot as idealistic youths. And then less. And less, as we get jobs and get busy and get a social life and start getting more tired. We think of it less. Sometimes, but not a lot. After all, there’s so much to do. So much to get done. So much to experience. So many responsibilities. Jobs, vacations, kids, taxes, summers, mortgage, aging parents.

And then, out of nowhere, that question hits us like a truck. Midlife crisis strikes most people sometime in their late 40s and 50s. “What am I doing? Why am I doing all this? What’s the meaning of all of it?”

There’s a reason “the meaning of life” is such a timeless topic. There’s a reason that humans have been preoccupied with it for thousands of years and haven’t quite found a clear answer. And, as we get older, when we suddenly think: What’s the meaning of it all? - we tend of brush it off as a silly question. Like, who cares, just.. keep working, there are things to be done! But I hope that after this episode, you’ll no longer want to ignore that question if it pops into your head.

I have a theory that I want to share with you today. This theory has been helping me and my clients, and it’s at the very core of the concept of Radical Redirection.

My theory is: the meaning of life is DIFFERENT for literally each person. Each of us. Each of us is going to have a different answer to this question. And this answer will depend on a lot of factors. (Psst.. We’ll discuss most of them on this podcast in future episodes!)

And this is why the search for the meaning of life is so hard! Because we’re looking for OTHER people to give us the answer, when WE are the ones who need to find our own unique answer! Do you see? It’s like asking, what’s the BEST color of all? And you’ll get so many answers, because everyone has a different opinion, everyone has a different favorite color. But if you read somewhere that yellow, yellow is definitely the best color of all.. it might feel great, like: “YES, I wholeheartedly agree,” but more likely - it’ll feel off. Like.. “well, maybe.. but I have my doubts.. I kind of like purple more…“

That’s a super simple example, but it’s similar with the meaning of life.

Finding the answer ourselves is hard so we’re trying to see: who HAS found the answer? Who has it? We’re looking in all the wrong places for our own life’s meaning! And so when we get an answer, it never feels quite right, it never quite FITS, because we were looking in the wrong place, and got someone else’s answer instead of our own. That’s why it’s so hard.

So the actual meaning of YOUR life is always going to be unique to you. And you might think right now: well, no, the meaning of life is to simply live and experience things. (And, some might add: and be a good person.) Yes, I’d agree, but there are ways of doing that and experiencing a lot of pain, and stuckness, and frustration, and then there are ways of doing that and experiencing joy and growth and satisfaction. So while, yes, all ways of life are valid, and the choice is always yours - right now, on this episode, I’m talking about getting in the driver’s seat and choosing how to live and what to experience in order to have more good things and less pain and frustration.

So back to the meaning of life: I believe that the meaning of YOUR life is unique to you. We all have to look within ourselves to find the answer to that question. And that’s really hard to do, too, because how the heck do you find it within yourself? This is where most folks get frustrated. I don’t see it, I can’t hear it, I don’t think anything is inside me, what a bunch of bogus. I’m an adult, I have important stuff to do.

And that’s how people stifle this question, push it off till later, till they have more time, until, eventually, the question swings back hard in the form of a midlife crisis, and suddenly doesn’t seem so silly after all.

Don’t ignore this question. As hard as it may be, figuring out your own answer now can save you a whole lot of pain and confusion later on.

So how DO you figure it out? How CAN you figure out the meaning and purpose of your own life?

As I mentioned, that depends on a LOT of factors, so we can’t cover it all in this episode. But we will take it all this step by step, and - stick around, every episode will help you get closer to figuring that out for yourself!

For now, let’s start with the foundation:

We all are souls, right? This is not about religion, by the way. We are all souls that have bodies, minds, memories, emotions, human expression, and the “soul” part of us is the INNER CORE that we came into this world with. We come into the world with this inner core that already has its own meaning, its own purpose, its strengths, its gifts, its values, its truth, its desires, its needs, and its mission.

We ALL possess this. We ALL have this at our core. (And this is really encouraging! That you already HAVE it in you.) When children are born, they already come with their unique personality, what they like and don’t like, the way they prefer to express themselves. We come into the world with way more than just likes and dislikes. We come into the world with our IDENTITY already fully there. It’ll take years for this identity to reveal itself, and to develop, to bloom, but just like the genetic information in a seed that hasn’t grown and bloomed into a flower yet - it’s all already there inside each one of us.

And so if we all come into the world with our inner core, this little seed, all ready to go, this includes our own unique purpose. We all have our soul calling. You’re here to do something special and unique. So am I. So is everyone around us. Even if your belief system is different, I invite you to entertain this one idea for a moment: each and every human, including you, comes to Earth with a unique mission, purpose, and set of talents.

It’s especially easy to see in kids. Some will take a marker and draw all over the wall (ahem, that was me). Some will use their voice loudly and proudly all day! Some will naturally prefer to sit still, others will run around. You can just tell that they’ll all bloom into different flowers. They won’t grow up the same.

Those are just tiny fractions of what makes each of us unique. This uniqueness, our individual special sauce, keeps revealing itself layer by layer, level by level, throughout our lives. So if we are already born with our own unique personalities, why can’t we also be born with our individual purpose?

I invite you to consider this idea, that we all came into this world with our own individual soul calling, our own purpose, and our personal meaning of life. It’s obviously not very apparent when we’re little, but it reveals itself more and more over the years, as we learn, explore the world, find out more about ourselves and how we fit into the world.

Our unique personal mission actually reveals itself best when we take the time to explore how we relate to the rest of world. It’s in our relationship with the world, with other people, with animals, with our surroundings, that we start to see more and more of what we’re meant to do, what impact we’re meant to have, and what gives our lives that deep and fulfilling sense of meaning.

All of us have this within us. And it’s up to us to develop a relationship with the rest of the world in which we’re also uncovering more and more about our own unique purpose in this lifetime. But most of us.. don’t do it! We get too busy. Too wrapped up in the day to day. The reasons are endless, from trauma to circumstances to obligations to spiritual starvation, but most people don’t do what they’re here to do.

And this is why the midlife crisis is such a huge thing! NOT following our unique soul purpose is why so many people feel like they took a “wrong” turn later in life, and get depressed, jaded, cynical, bitter. Not uncovering our core mission also has serious ramifications on health. We lose energy, get tired, get ill, physically, mentally, emotionally. There’s less and less life force in us as life goes on… because we’ve spent it on the wrong things. And in the meantime, that innermost core, that seed, that wanted to blossom in this lifetime, that wanted to develop its gifts, instead rots away, still all covered up and unexplored.

I believe that finding and following our soul purpose is best for everyone: best for our health, best for our happiness and satisfaction, best for the people around us, and best for the world. If you were born with your unique personality, your unique identity, and our unique gifts and strengths, then the world needs them. The world needs you to fulfill your own special role.

My theory is that following our purpose is the ultimate ticket to fulfillment & happiness (and the best way to avoid midlife crisis).

If we’re following our purpose throughout our life.. we always feel like we’re going somewhere, somewhere meaningful, we’re propelled forward by that inner fire that comes with having a strong personal mission, we feel useful, we feel needed, we exert less energy (because following our purpose tends to feel better than doing other things that we’re not meant for), and we’re overall happier because it feels like everything is worthwhile, like everything is just.. right.

But, of course, we must find our purpose first. Or rather, step onto our path of purpose. Your purpose is not one singular thing, but a long winding path - the life path that feels best for you, aligns with all of your needs, and allows you to do everything you’re here to do. It’s the path of revealing deeper and deeper layers of your soul’s calling, the path of tending to the seed and allowing it to sprout, grow, and blossom, opening up petal by petal, bigger and bigger. Your purpose is LITERALLY the process of discovering the various facets of your soul.

As Rebecca Campbell says in her book, Light is the New Black, which I absolutely adore by the way and recommend left and right, “Answering the calling of your soul isn’t a one-time act; it’s a perpetual conversation. It’s not actually about doing one big thing, or finding one single answer to the great big question: ‘What is my purpose?’ It’s doing hundreds and thousands of little things in that direction, one after the other. It’s through following each and every little call - a step here and a leap there - that we find ourselves living the life we are called to live.”

I love that quote. So you can look at your purpose as this beautiful, fascinating life-long process of discovery and commitment.

But first, we gotta find your path of purpose, and make the conscious decision to step onto it.

And you’ll know you’re on that path when things feel right. Because if you’re not in the process of uncovering your purpose layer by layer, leaf by leaf, then things WILL feel… off. Even if you’re busy, even if you’re happily employed, and even if other things in life seem to be going really well.

When I was joking around with my friends, in our early 20s, about a quarter life crisis and all that, I was actually starting to have a mini crisis. At about 22. Just a mini crisis, because I actually believe I avoided a full on depressive period of life BECAUSE I caught this early and pivoted hard.

So at 22, it was my first year out of college, my 3rd job that year and the first truly stable job - the first job that I could relax in somewhat, knowing that there’s no end date to my contract. That was the goal for my entire life - to get a stable job, in the industry I’ve studied, with no end date, so that I can survive AND make a name for myself. I’m a computer graphics artist for a big & prestigious movie-making studio in California. I’ve reached my goals and everyone is so proud of me! Yay!

Back then, I’d sometimes catch the bus to work with my friend Matt (who is now my husband, but back then this was before we even dated). One day on the bus, in a conversation, I told him: “yeah, I don’t really like computers.” Me, a computer graphics artist with a minor in computer since, working on a Linux machine all day. “Yeah… I don’t really like computers.” He reminds me of this conversation sometimes, and we laugh as we think about it in hindsight.

It was my first year in my chosen career field post-college, and I already felt that it wasn’t quite right. I studied to be a computer graphics artist so I can work on movies or games. I’ve landed this absolutely excellent job, and my life got super stable really fast.

I’ve reached my goal, but I wasn’t happy. I didn’t enjoy coding, using the terminal window for most commands and processes, understanding how pipelines work, debugging. I found it all really hard.

I didn’t look forward to highly technical assignments, coding, problem solving - I was good at it, because throughout college I forced myself to be good at it - for my goal, of getting hired! But it didn’t feel good. And I always felt like an impostor, like people will find out that I’m bad at this. And my workplace had entire trainings on how to overcome impostor syndrome, but I always knew: this, this was a bit different. It wasn’t just confidence, or my sense of being a valuable team member…. it was that I didn’t want to be working on a computer all day, and I KNEW I was only good at it because I forced myself to be good at it.

So that was clue number one. And a huge thing that contributed to me feeling “not quite right” at this job.

But the biggest clue, the biggest thing I was experiencing at that time was: lack of meaning in my life. My work rarely felt rewarding. I, personally, rarely felt like I’m doing something worthwhile. One of our movies would come out about once a year, we would all celebrate, read the reviews, that felt really good - for a week or so. And then I’d go back to feeling like my life isn’t really contributing to anything. My life is fine, it’s good, it’s nice, I like it - but it’s not fulfilling in that deeper way.

I tried searching for meaning in different things. I started making decent money and taking more vacations, trips, you know, small travels. I love traveling, and that felt really good, but after each week I’d come back to work and that feeling of “something is still missing” would be back within a week.

I tried volunteering - I tried to find meaning in that, working with kids, doing local cleanups, and you know, that felt good! I really enjoyed it! But the moment that work would get busy or my health would dip (those who know, these were the years of my health crisis, as well, and I’ll tell that story at some point, too). The moment that work would get busy or my health would demand my attention, I’d have to say “no” to the volunteering. And eventually it became too much to juggle, especially as I got more responsibilities at work. It got to the point of me having to choose between my wellbeing and the volunteering that brought me so much joy, because the work wasn’t going away, but something had to give.

So throughout this time, as I kept searching for meaning while giving my all to my job, a part of me knew this wasn’t going to last. Other people at my company worked there for 10, 20, 25 years, and I just knew that’s not right for me. I was starting to get that feeling, which I can only describe as the quarter life crisis, the feeling of “I’m not in the right place!”

I followed that vague, unclear, uncertain feeling. I’m so glad I did. So glad I trusted it, as unreasonable as it was! I mean, when you land a great job with no end date, with decent pay, great benefits, fun projects, what the heck is there to complain about?? You can pay off your student loans! You can go on vacation! What kind of idiot leaves such a job?

But day after day of feeling that dull, achy emptiness inside, of feeling just not right, not satisfied, and feeling like I’m not going anywhere - it weighs down on you. I’m sure you, listening, know what I mean.

This feeling, this lack of a sense of meaning, is the number one sign that you need a big life redirection!

So how did I redirect myself? How did I begin to step onto my path of purpose, my own path of exploring my soul’s calling?

Well, that’s the point of this whole podcast - to tell you exactly what I did to pivot AND what method I’ve put together based on that.

But here’s how I started, how it all began: I had a super vague but important vision.

I’ll tell you more about my vision in a future episode devoted to the idea of vision. Creating a vision is the first step of the Radical Redirection process.

But back at 25, before I knew ANYTHING about visioning, pivoting, or really any of this, back at 25, I asked myself an important question: “Where do I want to be in 10 years?”

And I didn’t arrive at a clear answer. It was a vague and blurry idea of how I’d want to live by the time I’m 35. But it was enough. At that time, it was enough. That vague little vision was enough to tell me - I’m not on the right track for what I truly want. Where I’m headed right now - is not there. I followed my current career and life track, took a look at: if everything goes really, really well for me, where would I be in 10 years?

And I found that:

The best case scenario of staying on my current track STILL didn’t bring me where I truly wanted to go.

The best case scenario would lead me to a mismatch, and to an eventual midlife crisis.

All I did was ask myself: where do I see myself, what do I truly want in 10 years. That question is enough to get started finding your true path. I didn’t even BEGIN to figure out my actual purpose! What I’d be doing for work, how I’d be impacting the world. These puzzle pieces came later, and I’ll talk about them in detail on this podcast, but that first bit: “where do I see myself in 10 years” - told me that if I don’t redirect starting NOW, I won’t get there.

I started finding my true path by realizing that I’m NOT currently on it.

And with the search for your true path, even just the search for it, comes a sense of meaning. Because you’re finally pivoting in the right direction for yourself.

Meaning is not singular. It’s not about finding the exact right job or the perfect career. It’s about the process, about finding the path that’s right for you, stepping on it, stepping off of it and then onto it again, taking steps along this path, taking steps towards ALL of your different goals and wishes and dreams. Meaning is in all of that. Just like our souls are multidimensional, our purpose is multidimensional.

How do you know you ARE living your soul’s purpose?

That’s if life just feels right. Whether it’s easy or not doesn’t matter. Things can be hard, there can be pain and loss, there can be anything in the range of human experience - but if it feels right, if you don’t want a different life, that’s how you know you’re already on your true path. Things feel worth it. Work feels worthwhile. At the end of the day, you’re satisfied, and there’s no nagging feeling late at night that something’s not right. There’s a sense of a quiet confidence in yourself AND the direction of your life, how everything is going. I know people like that, and it’s great to witness: a person who’s on their soul’s path, taking steps, and things just click. It can be nothing extraordinary, but such a person is just content. Not complacent, but content. Zen, in a way.

Living your soul’s purpose is not always easy. It does come with challenges, frustration, and even grief, but it’s different from abandoning your path or not seeing it. There’s a sense of purpose, a personal mission, and the deep gut feeling of “this is still right for me.” “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, or be anyone else, or do it any differently.”

But there can also be a sense of ease. Not of everything being easy, but of things simply flowing in a nice way. Things making sense. Decisions feeling good.

So if that’s how you know you are living your soul’s purpose, how do you know that you’re not, and that it’s time to redirect?

You might feel things like:

Your work is meaningless, or work feels like a drag, like a chore that you really don’t want to do
When you think about your life, you’re not sure where it’s going. Perhaps it’s hard to ask that question, the question of where do you want to be in 10 years.
You feel lost. Not all the time, but when you have quiet moments by yourself, there might be this realization that you feel lost, confused, and unsure about things.
You generally feel like things are hard. Everything is a struggle, and you must struggle, and that’s just the way it is, and there’s nothing to be done about that. The challenges, frustration, and pain that are present in your life might feel excessive, unreasonable, or unfair.
You’re tired all the time. And perhaps for no discernible reason. Just.. bleh.
You ONLY feel good if you’re filling every hour of every day with things to do: work, activities, social things, classes, workouts, volunteering, etc. It just feels like you MUST fill each hour with something.
Sometimes burnout is a sign that it’s time to pivot. Not every case of burnout, but some for sure, especially spiritual burnout.
Or maybe everything is good, but just good. Just good. Maybe it’s been stuck on the same level of “good” for years. And underneath that, there’s nothing exciting. Nothing inspiring. Life’s good, but I’m not excited about anything. It’s been the same old routine day after day, year after year.

These are just some of the signs. At the end of the day, you’ll know it in your gut if it’s time to redirect. The gut voice is a quiet one. The voice of our anxiety and fear is much louder - that’s the voice in your head that might say, “no, everything is fine, see other people over there have it so much worse, so we should just stay where we are and be grateful.” You know? But if you tune out the loud voice of anxiety, you might hear the tiny little whisper of intuition. Listen to that little voice. That soft, quiet voice will know for sure if you need to pivot your life in a small or a major way.

It’s so easy to get comfortable and stop changing, but our life is like a vast ocean, and if we want to get to the harbor over by the lighthouse, we can’t just let our ship sit still - it’ll get carried away with the waves going every which way. The lighthouse, what we want, is over there. It takes intention and effort to turn the ship of your life towards that lighthouse and go that way. The wind might blow you too far to the east. Then you redirect, because the lighthouse is now on the other side.

Midlife crisis, and its cousin, the quarter life crisis, is what happens when our ship has been out in the ocean for too long either without a clear direction, or following the wrong direction. When we thought we’re headed to.. say, Malta, but we’ve actually been headed to the North Pole this whole time. And midlife crisis feels worse the more off-course we are.

So the MOMENT you realize that you’ve been heading in the wrong direction is a blessing in disguise, no matter how painful it might be - because it’s the moment when you can choose to pivot. You can take some time to find what your most aligned path is, and redirect towards it. Even taking small steps towards your true path will feel rewarding, joyful, fulfilling, and RIGHT.

I honestly believe that we’re meant to feel good. We’re meant to feel RIGHT, in our heart. We feel right in our heart when we follow our most aligned path of purpose, no matter how challenging it may be.

Because our path of purpose doesn’t actually have an end. There’s no destination. When your ship gets to Malta, there’s a whole world of history to explore there, and then afterwards you might want to keep going on to Sicily as your new goal. There’s no end to our path of purpose. It’s a path that feels better and better the further we go. And the journey feels good, too.

On the other hand, a quarter life or midlife crisis feels like a dead end, or heading towards one. It feels finite and constricted. There’s no room for you to grow there any further.

So how do you get OUT of the dead end of a quarter life crisis and avoid midlife crisis later on?

This is what this podcast will be all about. Pivoting your life in a way that feels good and helps you make the impact you are here to make. Here are the high level steps, which I’ll go in depth into in future episodes:

Step 1: Envision what you really want. Identify every big and small thing that would make you feel good in life. Get really clear on what an ideal life looks like for you - at this stage.
Step 2: Get clear on who you are. Your starting stats. What makes you - you. Hint: it’s not your job title, it’s not your role in your family. Get clear on what’s important to you, what your natural strengths and talents are, what you’re truly good at, and what kind of change you want to see in the world.
Step 3: From all of that, get clear on your mission and purpose. Combine what’s important to you with your big vision for your life to figure out your direction. Like taking your current coordinates, your target coordinates, and figuring out the vector your ship will want to take, to get there.
Step 4: Create a strategy to actually get there! A plan, with goals, with steps, and with ways of dealing with challenges as they arise.
Step 5: Learn how to tackle the challenges that arise. What to do about internal and external obstacles, such as not enough time, not enough money, people who aren’t supportive, self-doubt, fear and anxiety, inner criticism, perfectionism, procrastination - tackling anything that gets between you and your goals, one at a time.
Step 6: Growing as you go. Learning, expansion, increasing your energy levels, increasing the amount of responsibility you can take on - all kinds of personal growth, professional growth, evolving as a person in a relationship, in a community, and stepping into bigger shoes as you keep going along your journey.
Step 7: Redirecting as you go. The waves of the ocean of life might push you one way, a storm might pull you this way, and as you go, as you learn, as you take steps, you’ll find that the target shifts. And that’s okay. And that’s good! So you keep redirecting, and keep following this process, and taking steps along your path that feel good and right for you.

Those are the big steps, and it’s okay if they feel intimidating or unclear right now. In each episode, we’ll tackle them one at a time and really break it down, so you’ll be able to follow along.

For now, it’s enough to simply ask yourself: am I happy? Or am I not quite happy? Which areas of life am I not quite happy in right now? That’s enough. That’s the springboard for you to begin pivoting. You don’t need to know the specifics yet. You don’t need to spend hours thinking, “but what do I need to do to be happy?” I’ll walk you through the steps. For now, sit with yourself, with a journal, with a coffee, and write out what are you not quite happy with in your life right now.

And stay tuned for the rest of the process, explained, episode by episode! But before we get into the process that I’ve outlined, we gotta do a bit of prep first. If your ship has been headed to the North Pole all this time, you probably have a bunch of baggage that you won’t need in Malta. So first, we’ve got to identify what baggage is not coming with you into your new life. And begin taking steps to let go of it. Before we create your new reality, we need to let go of the old - what’s not serving you anymore, and might hold you back when you start taking big steps forward.

So that’s what’s coming up next! I hope you enjoyed this episode. I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions - find me on Instagram, DM me, email me, I’ll either answer you personally or address your questions here on another episode.

And if you know you’re READY to pivot your life, figure out exactly what you want and how to get there, I invite you to work with me one-on-one, inside my coaching program. Curious but not quite sure? No worries, because we always start with a free phone call to make sure this is exactly what you need right now. The link to apply is in the show notes and in my Instagram bio. I really look forward to working with you, because I LOVE helping folks create the life of their dreams.

And with that, I’ll see you in the next episode of Radical Redirection!

RR Podcast Ep 3: Midlife Crisis and Meaning of Life

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RR Podcast Ep 3: Midlife Crisis and Meaning of Life

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Grab it here! >>

RR Podcast Ep 4: Reinventing Yourself: Let Go of the Old, the Unhelpful, and the Untrue

RR Podcast Ep 2: Chasing a False Dream While Fighting for my Life